Managing Loneliness | Mental Health Tips
Feeling isolated, invisible, and insignificant? These emotional experiences are now so common our Surgeon General has addressed the current loneliness epidemic as a public health crisis. Nearly half of American adults report feeling lonely and disconnected. And the health implications of this are alarming, ranging from mental health complications to an increased risk of premature death.
But why does social connection matter in the first place?
There’s an evolutionary reason behind our innate need for social interaction. Our early ancestors’ survival depended on being part of a tribe or community. Being rejected or banished meant certain demise for the individual. You may be surprised to know that thousands of years later our minds are still shaped by this primal need. And if our social bonds are threatened, our brains trigger fear responses that serve as motivation to repair these bonds.
Social interaction is essential for several reasons:
Social interaction is important for our mental health.
Our brains are wired for social connection. We tend to better cope with stress and anxiety, feel greater self-esteem, and experience improved life satisfaction when we have both meaningful and casual interactions with others.
Social connection has an impressive impact on our physical health.
It improves cognitive functioning, strengthens immune system response, and lowers risk of chronic illnesses. Social connection also increases recovery time from health setbacks. And strong social networks have been linked to longer life spans and better overall health outcomes.
Lack of social support can lead to a host of mental and physical health problems.
Loneliness increases our risk of developing depression, anxiety, chronic illnesses, a weakened immune system, and can lead to premature death. Prolonged isolation or social rejection can actually alter our DNA in our immune cells. This can lead to decreased ability to read social cues and self-regulate our emotions, making it harder to get out of our own heads when we are most in need of support. As a result, a sort of negative feedback loop is created, which keeps us stuck in isolation.
So, how can you tell if you’re struggling with loneliness or isolation?
A common concern that comes up with our clients is their experience of feeling like they have no one to talk to about their current struggles. This isolation perpetuates a prominent narrative that they’re the only ones dealing with their issues. As you can imagine, they begin to feel more disconnected, backed by beliefs that others don’t understand what they’re going through. They may also feel like they are a “burden” to others if they talk about their struggles.
These feelings can lead to behaviors such as substance use, binge-watching or “doom-scrolling,” or a general avoidance of responsibilities. As a result, feelings of sadness, emptiness, fatigue, and withdrawal from meaningful activities can follow. If you notice these signs, it’s time to do something about the loneliness before it gets worse.
The good news is that we have the power to get ourselves out of this cycle and onto a path towards healthy social connections.
Here are some first steps to start you on a path towards more connection:
Name the problem
The first step is awareness, and simply naming the problem can be empowering. When we name it, we can begin to validate ourselves and our experiences. And remember that it’s normal to resist change since our brains are hard-wired to protect us from the unknown. A way to give ourselves a sense of agency and purpose in our lives is to set a goal to achieve (i.e., relieve symptoms of loneliness). When we commit ourselves to attainable and realistic action steps to accomplish that goal, we can gradually start to feel better.
Take small steps to build your community
Reaching out to someone you feel comfortable with can help. Every interaction counts, from the friendly conversation with a grocery cashier to someone you text because you haven’t spoken to them in a while. When you build on these small actions, you can develop strong habits that give you the confidence to socialize with others.
Joining clubs, groups, or volunteer organizations that you’re interested in can also be a great way of easing into connecting with others. You may feel overwhelmed if you feel the pressure to jump into one of these activities immediately. Instead, you can set achievable and realistic goals as a great starting point. This may look like doing some research and scheduling a date and time to attend an event, or asking someone you know to join with you to hold you accountable.
Related Blog: Ask A Therapist: How Do I Make Friends As An Adult?
Professional support can help
Group therapy is a great way to address issues of loneliness. Through therapy in a peer group setting, we can experience a deeper connection with others who are facing similar issues as us. We can also start practicing healthy communication and boundary-setting skills in a supportive setting led by a trained professional. If you’re interested in group therapy, Stella Nova offers a variety of groups. Check out our current offerings here. If you’re interested in learning more about the group therapy process, contact us.
Receiving help from a therapist can also be an incredibly powerful tool in helping us recover from isolation. Talking to someone about your struggles may feel daunting and uncomfortable at first, but it can be worthwhile. A therapist works to provide a safe and supportive environment while helping you identify the root causes of your feelings of loneliness. Together, you can also begin to develop effective strategies for building meaningful connections and improving social skills. In this setting, you can work with your therapist to improve your self-esteem, resilience, and overall mental well-being. In time, you will be able to develop skills and knowledge that make it easier to combat feelings of isolation.
Related Blog: 5 Key Benefits of Group Therapy for Your Mental Health
About Esther Kwon
Esther Kwon is Stella Nova’s Intake & Administrative Assistant, and helps support new clients as they’re getting started at Stella Nova. She strives to make every new client feel comfortable, safe and supported as they work together to find a match. Her favorite self-care is doing yoga, journaling, rock climbing, crocheting amigurumi, and longboard skating.
Want Esther to help you get connected with a therapist who can help you build a life that’s less lonely and more connected? Schedule a free, 20-minute phone consultation to get started today.
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