Mental Health For Survivors of Sexual Abuse | Mental Health Tips
For many survivors of sexual assault, the news these days is bad — and quite possibly, psychologically triggering. It’s painful to watch powerful men not only avoiding consequences for rape and sexual abuse, but being elevated to some of the highest positions in our government.
If you’re overwhelmed right now, you’re not alone. And you’re not wrong.
Reading or hearing about these stories on the news can trigger a range of emotions, including fear, numbness, and anger. Some people who have experienced sexual trauma may find their symptoms worsened or reactivated.
Anyone who is struggling deserves support and care. Here are a few suggestions from a therapist that might help.
Self-Care for Survivors of Sexual Assault When The News is Bad
If you’re feeling anxious
Anxiety is an understandable emotion in an uncertain situation, especially when we know there is a real likelihood of harm to ourselves or others.
In fact, it’s not necessarily a bad emotion to have in those situations. Anxiety exists to help us identify threats so that we can take action to protect ourselves.
The problem comes when our anxiety is turned up to eleven all the time, even when there’s no helpful action to take. Chronic anxiety can greatly undermine our quality of life, and trigger unwanted coping behaviors like avoidance or numbing with substances. We might experience negative health consequences like pain or gastrointestinal symptoms, as our body remains ready for flight or flight.
One way to manage anxiety is to reduce your exposure to triggers when you can. I don’t recommend avoiding the news altogether — it’s important for us to be informed about what’s going on in our world. However, limiting our exposure and taking breaks can be helpful. For example, instead of getting news via social media doomscrolling, try checking a reputable newspaper or website mindfully.
When anxiety is overwhelming, or you’re finding it difficult to relax, somatic techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or breathing exercises can help. These tools can help shift the body from a state of hyperarousal (aka, being overly alert and prepared for immediate danger) to one of calm and relaxation.
If you’re feeling numb
One way that people protect themselves from reminders of a trauma is to shut down. This response exists on a spectrum, from feeling mildly disconnected to more severe symptoms of dissociation.
While shutting down can protect us from being overwhelmed, it can also be disturbing to feel disconnected from ourselves. It can also make it difficult to function in our lives and our relationships.
If you’re feeling numb, activities that help you get back in touch with your body can help. One example is a simple but popular technique called 5-4-3-2-1 grounding that invites us to pay attention to our five senses. Movement can also be helpful for reconnecting with yourself. A gentle walk or stretching can be effective, as can more vigorous exercise. Our colleagues at Laurel Therapy in Los Angeles offer a free, trauma sensitive yoga class that’s a great online resource.
If you’d like to get more in touch with your feelings, I often encourage my client to use a Feelings Wheel as a way to put words to feelings that may be hard to identify. Journaling or talking to a safe person can help. For folks who are visual or creative, we really like artist Abby VanMuijen’s Interactive Feelings Map as a guided tool to explore how you’re feeling and how your emotions show up in your body.
If you’re feeling angry
Anger is a very reasonable response to injustice and abuse. It can be a powerful source of motivation to fight back and protect ourselves (and others). Without anger, I can’t imagine we’d ever have the civil rights movement, women suffrage, or many other progressive movements throughout history.
The problem with anger is that without a place to go, it can eat us alive. One way to transform anger is to channel it into action. For example, Stella Nova therapist Sage Swiatek, ACSW, recommends Rise as a grassroots organization that helps survivors get legislation passed in their communities. Even small actions, like setting up a monthly donation to an organization supporting survivors, can help us use anger for good.
When anger burns so hot that it’s impossible to channel, or causes us to act out in ways that hurt ourselves or others, processing the emotion is essential. You may need to explore feelings of hurt, fear, or helplessness that anger can be covering up. Peer support and trauma-informed therapy can both be very helpful for working through rage.
If you’re feeling alone
One of the ways that rape culture operates is by keeping people silent and isolated. Stigma, victim blaming, and a legal system stacked against survivors make it hard to speak out. But the truth is that, unfortunately, sexual assault and abuse are exceedingly common. You’re not alone in your experience, or if you’re struggling with feeling triggered or retraumatized.
One way to feel more connected can be to seek out stories that other survivors have chosen to tell. Sage recommends author and activist Chanel Miller’s work, including her 2019 memoir Know My Name. I’m linking a brief clip of her on CBS Morning here, because I love what she shares about finding the right spaces to share your story.
And if you’re looking to make personal connections or find support, there are many resources available in person and online. We like dontcallthepolice.com as a compilation of local, community-based resources for a number of concerns, including survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. Private clinics and community mental health centers also often have therapists who specialize in supporting survivors. In addition to one-on-one support, they may offer therapy or support groups.
Thanks to Stella Nova team members Sage Swiatek and Cami Westervelt for contributing resources to this post.
About The Author
Maya Borgueta, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and the founder of Stella Nova Psychology, an online therapy practice dedicated to supporting women and nonbinary professionals. Maya specializes in helping women of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, and adult children of immigrants navigate challenges such as trauma, anxiety, self-doubt, and cultivating self-compassion.
Are you interested in working with Maya to support your mental health? Schedule a free, 20-minute phone consultation to get started today.
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